A Parochial Vice

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Often times gossip can be used as a tool to “lure someone in” to the “inner circle” but… equally as often… the Gossiper fails to note that what is communicated is a sort of bullying: “If you betray me, I will gossip about you in this same manner.”

I name this a “parochial vice” for a couple of reasons: it seems to be endemic among both parochial staff and parochial (secular) clergy. But it could easily be named after any other level in the church structure. But I think “parochial” is more correct in that it is always focused: an insider group. It’s an “us vrs the outside” issue. Not the content – the content can be about anyone anywhere – but the network of conversation is always focused, here, now; that is, parochial. Someone in the Phanar might gossip about someone in the Vatican, but the recipient will always be someone else in the Phanar or someone who is being lured into the “inner circle” of whatever structure.

There is a way in which it might be prudent to know that a certain party is a bit of a troublemaker. Or a certain priest is more intent on “empire building” than actual ministry. But, even in these cases, often the primary message is “don’t be like this or I shall talk about you, too.” Even if those cases are particularly troublesome, gossip is a vice which – in its very nature – thus become vicious. (Yes, that’s where the word comes from.)

There is no way in which a layperson needs to hear any of this from a cleric. Or a cleric in lower orders from a cleric in higher orders. When, in addition to the vice, there is a power dynamic in play it is quite honestly a form of abuse of office, of power, and borders on manipulation and spiritual abuse. In that it is a lure for folks to be caught in a trap of some kind, it could even be called grooming.

But then, having received the gossip: what is one to do? It is no sin to sit in silence on something that one has heard, but it seems that it would be a sin to act on it in any way. If I’ve been told – through the grapevine – that some one is suspiciously around any time something goes missing and, no, we’ve not seen anything specific, but you know how those people can be… Should I then watch them like a hawk the next time they are volunteering with me?