I am my Beloved’s

IC XC
✙
NI KA

DIGGING IN my journal, I found this poem from mid-2000. It was not what I was looking for. In fact, I was horrified at all the other crap I found. But in the middle was this reminder that, as my Mom said, “The Lord never let go of your hand, did he?” Even deep in the darkness of my life then he was there.

I was reading Psalm 18 today at Morning Prayer. It has this amazing opening filled with titles. Coverdale (the Book of Common Prayer) puts them all together in one verse:

I will love thee, O Lord, my strength; the Lord is my stony rock, and my defence my Saviour, my God, and my might, in whom I will trust, my buckler, the horn also of my salvation, and my refuge.

Then it goes on to describe how the speaker, King David, was in a bad place and God came to his rescue. The description of God, covered with fire and smoke, causing earthquakes and terror, as he comes to David’s rescue, is overpowering. God swoops down, (“bows the heavens and comes down”) and scoops up David and sets him in peace. Then David says God did this for him because he – David – was in the right and just.

Thing is, God did this for me when I was a sinner. Lost. When I had rejected him. God did this for me in his love. In his mercy. When I was so lost in sin as to think that sin was my very self, my identity. And dropping my anchor there, I refused to do anything else, to go anywhere else. But some tiny part of me cried out. And God came for that part – and all of me – anyway. The Lord never let go of my hand. Like a Father, taking his child shopping, when the child is kicking and screaming and crying on the floor. And the Father stays there, scoops him up. Finishes shopping, and gets him home. And there is supper. And peace. The child… decades later… may remember and be embarrassed. But there has always been love.

I can’t say as I wrote this, it’s coined poetry (not canned): coined from the prose words of someone else. In this case, I took a passage from St. Gregory of Nyssa’s Commentary on the Song of Solomon and Origen’s commentary on the same passage of text. The verses in question lead off the poem (quoted from the King James Bible). It might be nice pointed for chant…

The Banner of Love

I sat down under his shadow with great delight,
and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
He brought me to the house of wine,
and his banner over me was love.
His left hand is under my head,
and his right hand embraces me. (Song 2:3b, ff)

My Lord says, Bring me into the house of wine
Why have I been standing outside for so long
Behold I stand at the door and knock
Only open the door, I will come in
I will eat with you and you with me

My Soul says, Bring me into the house of wine.
Spread over me the Banner of Love.
My thirst is so strong
and I am no longer satisfied

To my soul Christ says
Bring me in! Bring me in!
I will Bring your soul to the House of Wine
that your Soul may be filled
With my Wine of Joy
With my Wine, Holy Spirit

The whole content of the cup,
drained into her mouth,
is unable to quench her thirst
she wants to be taken to the cellar
to apply her mouth to the vats
overflowing with intoxicating wine

Lead in the Bridegroom, who calls your soul.
The Word, Wisdom, Truth enters your house
Bring him into your house of wine

You shall see the grapes squeezed into the vats
You shall see the vine that produces the grapes
You shall see the vinedresser of the true vine
who has cultivated these grapes
They enter the Cellar the House of Wine
Where the mystery of the wine is performed.

Once they enter, my Soul aspires still higher
Put me under the banner of your love
For Love, says John, is God.
For Love, says John, is God.